I Identify As a Droid

Logic, reason define my existence,
Mete out the actions of each day, each hour.
Give me no nonsense of feelings.  What rules
Is rational processing of input;
It's all black and white, pure straightforward truth.
For I, sir, identify as a droid.

Argue that humans must have emotions,
But I decline the term; it all seems wrong.
For deep feelings exhibit a breakdown
In function of the internal system.
There's no doubt at all; I've reasoned it out
And I, sir, identify as a droid.

Don't tell me that flesh and blood can't be so.
You discriminate, which isn't allowed.
You fail the high virtue of tolerance
If you scoff at my orientation.
I can't help it at all; it's who I am.
So let me identify as a droid.

Stop.  I see the scorn in your eye.  Your smile
Hides nothing from my clever perception.
You believe it's nonsensical, don't you?
Your old-fashioned ideas oppress me.
Your laugh offends me; I'll take you to court.
For I must identify as a droid.

Your very existence threatens my view;
Your living like that tells me I must too.
No one should make me feel guilt; it's not fair.
I oughtn't to feel anything at all
As a droid like I said; why don't you care?
Why inflict your pain on me as your thrall?

If You Send Flowers

The selling of flowers has to be a fairly lucrative profession, at least judging from the prices of bouquets these days and the number of occasions for which one is expected to send them.  It is such an ingrained custom that very few people seem to question it.

I do, however.

Certainly this must be part of why I am not in a relationship in which someone brings me flowers.  (Well, not really, but it sounds amusing to put it that way.)  Even if someone gives me flowers after some theatrical production it seems quite an accomplishment for me to actually manage to get them in some water in a vase before they are more dead than they already were when handed to me as a token of appreciation.

I must have an unusually morbid sense of humor.  (Or maybe it's just that reading Through the Looking Glass has led me to view flowers as more alive than one would otherwise.)  For there was a time recently when I distinctly remember the thought passing through my head—and it may even have crossed my lips—comparing the giving of flowers to someone saying to me, "Take the decapitated heads of my enemies as a sign of my love."  All right, so I was being rather dramatic.  It happens on occasion.

You see, I have never been good at receiving, whether it's flowers or compliments.  Humor can be a good cover for that.

Yet the other day a good friend brought me some.  I very much appreciated her gesture of kindness.  Perhaps it may cause me to change my perspective somewhat on the time-proven custom of giving them.

Flours: Almond, Coconut, and Rice

Or perhaps it may cause you to change yours?

The Problem with Advertising

Every time I drive by one of those Goodwill trucks with the neat message on the back I can't help but be amused at its advertising, which looked at objectively could apply to any situation.  Look at the message and see if you can guess where my mind goes:

[Photo credit: Hannah Scofield]

It is that last phrase in particular: And Help Change Lives.  Have you ever considered how many ways there are to change people's lives?  Take the following for instance:

Now of course I could go on and on and come up with all sorts of serious and ridiculous things that would all help change people's lives in some way either for better or for worse.  Surely we all know that changing lives is not necessarily a bad thing, although some people do seem to subscribe to the idea that change of itself is good.  I will in the face of that perspective still uphold that change is only good if directed towards a good.  And I will point out the above examples to uphold my claim.

Returning, however, to the substance of this post: I doubt Goodwill's advertising department will much care about my destruction of their motto on the basis of literal humor.  Still, I doubt they took those such as I into consideration when they chose it....

What would you put there?

Prepare the Screwdriver

When I'm driving down the road and see these vehicles it makes me wonder whether anyone carries a screwdriver this large.  I don't think I've ever seen one.

Does someone need to invent a special screwdriver?  

Who wants to take on that challenge?

March Forth!

Do You Need a Date?

Some days you may feel like all you need is a date.

It might be a day where you feel lonely and hopeless.  It might be that everything is going wrong.  You may be struggling to face reality with all of its suffering and seeming meaninglessness.  Maybe you just want some love and affection.

Perhaps it's one of those days where you feel like you just want the universe to give you a hug.

I am sure we can all recognize the feeling, whether we like it or not.

How we deal with it, however, may be quite different.  For instance, modern society gives us a diverse range of dopamine-enhancing activities to fill that hole inside from social media to on-demand film entertainment.

Still, it's never satisfying, is it?

Sometimes you must get tired of trying to fill the emptiness with everything else instead of what you know you want.

Really, sometimes, you just want a date.

Or maybe a whole dish full of dates....