Logic, reason define my existence,
Mete out the actions of each day, each hour.
Give me no nonsense of feelings. What rules
Is rational processing of input;
It's all black and white, pure straightforward truth.
For I, sir, identify as a droid.
Argue that humans must have emotions,
But I decline the term; it all seems wrong.
For deep feelings exhibit a breakdown
In function of the internal system.
There's no doubt at all; I've reasoned it out
And I, sir, identify as a droid.
Don't tell me that flesh and blood can't be so.
You discriminate, which isn't allowed.
You fail the high virtue of tolerance
If you scoff at my orientation.
I can't help it at all; it's who I am.
So let me identify as a droid.
Stop. I see the scorn in your eye. Your smile
Hides nothing from my clever perception.
You believe it's nonsensical, don't you?
Your old-fashioned ideas oppress me.
Your laugh offends me; I'll take you to court.
For I must identify as a droid.
Your very existence threatens my view;
Your living like that tells me I must too.
No one should make me feel guilt; it's not fair.
I oughtn't to feel anything at all
As a droid like I said; why don't you care?
Why inflict your pain on me as your thrall?
WHEREAS the Declaration of Independence clearly states that "all men are created equal," and
WHEREAS we clearly understand that statement to refer to all people without needing to mince words about its political correctness; and
WHEREAS we certainly believe that all are indeed equal and consequently deserving of equal opportunities in the area of education and elsewhere; and
WHEREAS equal obviously means the same; and
WHEREAS it is entirely unfair to ignore the needs of equality by allowing some to be superior to others or to permit the emotional trauma caused by feelings of inferiority; and
WHEREAS no one's equality to another should be threatened by pretended superiority in terms of greater knowledge or advanced learning or greater competency or any other area of higher status caused by greater exertion of effort or natural merit; now
THEREFORE, the government of the United States of America hereby takes into its jurisdiction the proper distribution of justice by ensuring the equality of each citizen of this nation. By these rights, the government shall permit none to rise above the bar of equality set for the lowest possible denominator that all may be equal and none may be made to feel inferior by the speech or position of another, including, but not limited to, the following areas:
1. Education: no person shall know more of any subject than any other person. No advanced degrees shall be permissible.
2. Speech: no person shall use advanced grammar or quote distinguished writers or other languages or speak in any other language but the simplest English. Slang is permissible only if it be widespread and suitable for all persons.
3. Argument: no person shall apply logical principles to the argument of another nor argue to deconstruct another's argument lest the other be proved less by losing the argument and therefore becoming subject to feelings of inferiority.
FURTHERMORE, anyone who fails to meet the bar of equality by selfishly rising above it must seek to give restitution by regressing immediately or be subject to fine or imprisonment according to the severity and number of offenses.
