Beware of Newspaper Grammar

 News headline:

Gunmen arrested by Kavanaugh's home

My response:

Just as Jesus said that if the people of Jerusalem did not praise Him then the stones would rise up in praise (Luke 19:40), so you see the same truth repeated again and again in different ways.  This time it's if the policemen fail to arrest the would-be assassins, then the homes themselves shall rise up and do so.

With so much rage on the loose, fueled by authoritarian approval, I'll have to teach my home to do the same.  One never knows when it might come in handy.

Handy Political Definitions

 From the Halfwise Dictionary:

REPUBLIC: A state in which supreme power belongs to the public and to elected politicians and to anyone who has enough money to corrupt the system.

ELECTION: An institutionalized system of voting for candidates to fill political offices according to their apparent powerfulness and warmth.

POLITICAL PLATFORM: A political party's version of creative writing.

PRESIDENT: The country's scapegoat.

MEDIOCRACY: A government system in which the media tells people for whom to vote, calls the winners of elections, and otherwise takes authority over the democratic voting process, which often occurs through emotional manipulation, shaming, and other similar techniques.  To be distinguished from MEDIOCRITY.

I Identify As a Droid

Logic, reason define my existence,
Mete out the actions of each day, each hour.
Give me no nonsense of feelings.  What rules
Is rational processing of input;
It's all black and white, pure straightforward truth.
For I, sir, identify as a droid.

Argue that humans must have emotions,
But I decline the term; it all seems wrong.
For deep feelings exhibit a breakdown
In function of the internal system.
There's no doubt at all; I've reasoned it out
And I, sir, identify as a droid.

Don't tell me that flesh and blood can't be so.
You discriminate, which isn't allowed.
You fail the high virtue of tolerance
If you scoff at my orientation.
I can't help it at all; it's who I am.
So let me identify as a droid.

Stop.  I see the scorn in your eye.  Your smile
Hides nothing from my clever perception.
You believe it's nonsensical, don't you?
Your old-fashioned ideas oppress me.
Your laugh offends me; I'll take you to court.
For I must identify as a droid.

Your very existence threatens my view;
Your living like that tells me I must too.
No one should make me feel guilt; it's not fair.
I oughtn't to feel anything at all
As a droid like I said; why don't you care?
Why inflict your pain on me as your thrall?

The Unimportant Stuff

​Murphy’s Law #243: The more unimportant stuff you have, the easier it is to misplace the important stuff somewhere underneath.

The legitimacy of said law may be subject to doubt, especially because its random recording here lacks a source.  However, unless we mean to debate whether there are indeed 243 Murphy's laws (and clearly more) or the folly of writing interesting quotations and leaving out their sources, then that is of little account.  That, after all, would be to misplace the important stuff beneath the unimportant.

Of course burying important stuff with the unimportant is the meat of procrastination.  So also the way of social media.

For instance, why do we live in a world where we judge our president and the Pope by their random comments on twitter?  Perhaps virtual reality has supplanted the value of what is deeply human to such an extent that these have indeed become the most important.  That is easier to believe, for it stares us right in the face.

We all like to be right.  We all like to be admired as being at the head of innovative trends that transform society.

Then let us begin a crusade for the Unimportant and we shall find ourselves leading the charge.  If we can propose the most trivial things to people through extensive advertising, social media campaigns, and so on, we shall succeed in burying once more the deeper uncomfortable realities once considered important that really just get in the way of doing what we want to do.

Production, growth, change: these are the keywords for our new movement.  Let us raise the banner of the Unimportant!  Don't question why.  It is clearly the right way to go simply because that is what everyone is doing.

If you resist the new movement you are clearly a bigot.  Your belief in deeper truths obviously makes you racist and prejudiced.

Therefore you must save yourself by jumping on the bandwagon and embracing the pointless little things as the dogma of a new reality.  When you release your hold on the outdated notions of the past and conform yourselves instead to the freedom that arises from doing solely as you please according to the standards set by the group to which you belong you will know that this is clearly the key to happiness.

Never mind the ephemeral nature of this quality we term happiness.  You must seek happiness at any cost, even at the cost of your own self.

Draft Bill for Equality

WHEREAS the Declaration of Independence clearly states that "all men are created equal," and 

WHEREAS we clearly understand that statement to refer to all people without needing to mince words about its political correctness; and

WHEREAS we certainly believe that all are indeed equal and consequently deserving of equal opportunities in the area of education and elsewhere; and

WHEREAS equal obviously means the same; and

WHEREAS it is entirely unfair to ignore the needs of equality by allowing some to be superior to others or to permit the emotional trauma caused by feelings of inferiority; and

WHEREAS no one's equality to another should be threatened by pretended superiority in terms of greater knowledge or advanced learning or greater competency or any other area of higher status caused by greater exertion of effort or natural merit; now

THEREFORE, the government of the United States of America hereby takes into its jurisdiction the proper distribution of justice by ensuring the equality of each citizen of this nation.  By these rights, the government shall permit none to rise above the bar of equality set for the lowest possible denominator that all may be equal and none may be made to feel inferior by the speech or position of another, including, but not limited to, the following areas:

1. Education: no person shall know more of any subject than any other person.  No advanced degrees shall be permissible.

2. Speech: no person shall use advanced grammar or quote distinguished writers or other languages or speak in any other language but the simplest English.  Slang is permissible only if it be widespread and suitable for all persons.

3. Argument: no person shall apply logical principles to the argument of another nor argue to deconstruct another's argument lest the other be proved less by losing the argument and therefore becoming subject to feelings of inferiority.

FURTHERMORE, anyone who fails to meet the bar of equality by selfishly rising above it must seek to give restitution by regressing immediately or be subject to fine or imprisonment according to the severity and number of offenses.